The Four Pillars of Emotional Intelligence: Leadership Lessons from Life and the Herd
- Heidi Dawson
- Jan 5
- 3 min read
One of the most important, underpinning principles of my work is Emotional Intelligence (EQ/EI), yet I never really talk about it!
It's just one of those "goes without saying" elements of what I do and how I work.
But maybe it’s time to change that. Emotional intelligence underpins every one of our relationships, including the one we have with ourselves. It can make us better leaders, team members, parents, partners, and friends.
What Happened to our Emotional Intelligence?
Emotional intelligence isn’t new! In fact, your average 4-year-old is probably more emotionally intelligent than most adults – a sweeping statement, I know, but think about it:
As children, we’re instinctive, intuitive, and emotional. But as we grow, we’re bombarded with messages like “Think before you act” or “Use your head.” By adulthood, we’ve shifted our attention from our gut and heart to our head, prioritising logic over intuition.
The trouble is, our logical brains process information through filters: past experiences, other people’s stories, things we’ve read, and even the narratives we tell ourselves. This social conditioning can drown out the gut instincts that kept us safe for millennia. We have stopped paying heed to the information available to us when we read the energy in the environment around us; when we listen to what our gut instincts and intuition tell us about the situations we find ourselves in and the people we meet.
As a result:
We don’t understand why we react to situations or people in certain ways.
We struggle to grasp what drives others.
Relationships break down - often before they’ve even begun.
Reconnecting with Emotional Intelligence
Thankfully, we don’t have to continue down that road, if we don’t want to. We can choose to reconnect with our emotional intelligence and, by doing so, manage our relationships very differently.
But, let’s be clear: Emotional intelligence isn’t about group hugs! Emotional intelligence is the inner compass that enables you to read the room and determine whether a handshake, a pep talk, or a metaphorical kick-up-the-butt is going to work better!
Emotional Intelligence and Leadership
Emotional intelligence is essential for effective leadership. Whether steering a team through challenges or fostering trust in times of change, leaders need to connect, empathise, and lead with emotional awareness.
But what does it mean to lead with EI?
The four pillars of emotional intelligence - self-awareness, self-regulation, social awareness, and relationship management - are the foundation of authentic, compassionate leadership.
Developing these areas:
Strengthens your leadership ability.
Transforms how you show up in personal and professional relationships.
Lessons from the Herd
Horses offer a surprising, yet powerful lens for understanding emotional intelligence. As
highly intuitive animals, they live in the moment, relying on non-verbal cues and emotional congruence to navigate their environment. Their sensitivity to human emotions makes them exceptional learning partners, offering leaders a rare opportunity to observe and reflect on their own communication and emotional presence.
Here’s how the four pillars come to life with horses:
Self-awareness: Horses instantly notice when your energy doesn’t match your intent, mirroring your internal state.
Self-regulation: They respond to calm, consistent leadership rather than force or unpredictability.
Social awareness: Horses thrive on understanding the energy of their herd - just as leaders must read their teams.
Relationship management: Building trust with a horse mirrors the effort and authenticity required to foster strong human relationships.
These lessons transcend the paddock, equipping leaders with tools to inspire confidence and build trust in any setting.
Take the Journey
The beauty of exploring EI through this dual lens is that it’s universally relatable. Whether you’re looking to lead a team with greater authenticity, or simply seeking to better understand yourself, the principles remain the same. And while you don’t need to spend time with horses to benefit from these insights, their ability to reflect our own emotional patterns makes them remarkable teachers for those ready to learn.
Remember, leadership isn’t a quick fix; it’s a journey. As you develop your emotional intelligence, consider what lessons you might take from those who lead without ego, yet command respect through presence, clarity, and connection.
If this resonates with you, why not explore how these principles can shape your leadership journey?
Get in touch to start the conversation.
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